Letting the dog inside isn't always easy in Australia

I live in a place by myself of a farm well away from any town, pretty much completely surrounded by bush, in a tropical region. It being quite hot and humid outside, i thought I'd let my dog inside to enjoy the aircon with me. My dog is more than energetic and comes bounding towards the door, which leads to the kitchen, whenever he gets even the slightest inkling that i may open it. So I go to open the from door and as I open the door the dog is already hurtling towards the door, unbeknown to both of us in this moment there was a snake sitting on the concrete in front of the door just enjoying the summer warmth I imagine. I open the door fully before I realise that the dog running towards the door had startled this snake and it leapt towards me in the open door at about waist height. My instinct reaction was to slam the door shut, luckily enough keeping the dog safe from the snake but also shutting the snake inside with me.Being in a bush area, in Australia might I add, means there are lots of insects, spiders, snakes and other creatures I aim to distance myself from so I've sealed the kitchen up real tight so nothing can get in. This also means that nothing can get out. Now i'm not afraid of snakes at all, and have been known to pick up and relocate a harmless python on the odd occasion, so even though I've identified it as venomous, my first instinct was not to kill the snake but to get it outside. Its the middle of summer, 38 degrees celcius and around 95% humidity, so this snake it all warmed up and moving at quite a speed. Im using the bristles end of a broom to try and corner it so I can get it into a bag and take it outside and safely away from the house.I end up in pursuit of this snake for quite a few minutes until i realise this isn't going to end well for one of us, and beginning to put my own safety first i decide its time to flip the broom around to whack it with the handle and end its life humanely. My first attempt misses as it slithered behind the cupboard and out the other side, I'd used a fair bit of force and snapped the broom in half. So armed with half a broom I continue the pursuit and it slithers behind the oven. On the other side of the oven there is only a corner, when it popped out the other side this was bound to be over. Instead of coming out fully though, it pokes its head out, sees me, then retreats back behind the oven. I get my head against the wall and look behind the oven to see no snake, I was 70% sure it couldn't have gone back out the other side without me seeing it so I assume its gone under the oven. Upon lifting one side of the oven up, there's no snake to be seen, must have crawled up into the cavity where all the wiring etc. is (it's an electric oven).So I stand there in front of the oven for a minute while I collect my thoughts. I can't just leave it in there because it may come out again, then I'll have a potentially dangerous snake in my kitchen that could appear again at any moment, and I'm also worried that if I leave the view of the oven it could change its hiding spot without me knowing. So I'm stuck in front of this oven holding half a broomstick vigilantly waiting for the snakes reappearance. In order to speed the process up I decide to turn the oven on to its highest setting, the theory being that an electric oven heats up slowly, so it will gradually get too hot for the snake and it will decide to move away from the oven, where I will be waiting.I'm thinking this thing surely can't take muck more heat, the room itself was already hot, but 5 minutes pass and still no sign of it. At this point I notice that the oven is beginning to get warmer, along with the room around it. As the room gets hotter and hotter i begin to sweat, profusely. I cant leave in fear of the snake escaping my sight, so I remove my shirt for some relief. I estimate 10 minutes or so later its still getting hotter, so I remove my shorts for further relief. So now the scene is me, a big, bearded and quite hirsute man standing in front of a roasting, yet empty, oven on a hot day, wearing nothing but my underwear, holding half a broomstick and sweating profusely. I'm hoping at this point I get no visitors (even with the door shut I'd be clearly visible through the window). This isn't a scene I can just explain away, and even if I could there'd be an endless stream of jokes and ridicule for the next few weeks.Finally around 25 minutes later I hear the click of the oven's thermostat as the maximum temperature is reached. I hear slithering noises inside. Its go time. It leaps out from behind the oven. I react instantly. My first strike misses, snapping the broomstick again and again, it wasn't until about the fifth strike when I succeeded. There I am, almost entirely naked and puffing, holding the very end of a broomstick with a look of relief on my face, glad I had no spectators. I promptly enjoyed a cold shower then resumed my day. via /r/funny http://ift.tt/2sdOkQT